When in doubt, write the first thing that comes to mind

What do I have to offer? 

Not so strangely, a question that I’ve been asking myself multiple times in the recent days.

What do I have to offer? 

Is this what everything has come down to? 

 

This question. 

 

Life sometimes is all about selling yourself, to future employers, to friends, to family. The idea that we are of some sort of individual worth, worthy of the time of others, worthy of a friendship, worthy of love. 

We are attracted to those who we deem equal to ourselves, and we make ourselves out to seem the equal of others. It is natural, to want to be able to hold your head high and proud as you walk alongside a friend, a partner, a colleague.

 

But, what happens when all self-worth is washed away? What happens when you fail? 

Is this truly what life is?

A barter system?

I am imperfect. My nose is a little strange. I wish these little hairs wouldn’t grow by the side of my mouth. I still occasionally worry about the day where all the chocolate will catch up with me. I know that my bum isnt as curvy as Beyonce's and my thighs will probably never regain their athletic-toned form glory. I strive to be extraordinary, but I'm far from it.

Hmm

Can I not care for you for who you are, for the presence you have in my life? No more, no less, not for the friendship you give me, not for the shoulder of support that you offer me, not for the like minded intellect that we share, but for the simple emotions that you evoke within, for the simple fact that I love you for yourself, the instinctive part of myself that responds to you.

The crux of the matter is, I care for the person that you are.

But perhaps, that in itself, is the only thing that I am able to offer at the moment to all who are in my life.

But is that enough?

Zana xx